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1. 

   alinag

   102 Kudos

   07/11/09

   Alyx, please help! I don't think you understand how extreme the narcissist is. They've distorted my thinking so much! They drain all the energy out of me. I don't think most people in my situation are on these sites because they become narcissists themselves. I can't fight anymore. If I take money they keep and go somewhere far. Change my name. I know I sound crazy. I'm probably going to become an N myself. Maybe I can change that in the future with help. I have nothing to lose. Even if I end up struggling, at least I won't go crazy.

   07/22/09

   Reply from Alyx:

   Dear Alinag,
   I am sorry I have not gotten back to you sooner, but I myself find myself taking FLMA (the family leave act) due to Mommy Dearest. She pulled a stunt a couple of Saturdays and ended up in the psych ward, so now I am off work playing babysitter to one who has been a bitch all her life. A teensy stroke and not taking her meds set things off a couple of months ago, so I don't know when I can get back to you. I certainly was not planning on this life changing avent. The are N's till the end remember that, that is one thing I have learned from the blogs I have visited, they are that way till they die. So my friend, what I can tell you is get the best education you can, go out and party with friends, let their realistic lifestyles and avents shape you, not the sick environment you see at home. When you can become somewhat financially stable get a trusted little g/f as a roomate and get the hell out. Be careful with boys don't go with anyone that just uses you, go out with ones that like you for WHO YOU ARE! Don't go out with guys that just think about themselves otherwise you are back in the same trap. Promise me! It's tough to find REAL men these days, so look for the best one you can find. Get a hobby, take art, go to the library, go the mueseum fill your life with love, knowledge and culture and happiness and good times with loved ones/friends. Don't look back to the ones that really dispise you underneath and just use you....you know who I am talking about. That is about the best advice I can give you. Until next time...do not go CRAZY FOR THEM, that's what they want, then they have won, do what I did become a rebel!
   Alyx - hang in there, at least for me!

2. 

   alinag

   102 Kudos

   07/10/09

   hey alyx, thanks again! I just feel doomed, even if she notices that I want to be a little distant, she goes crazy and takes away everything. I feel like I'm going to become a narcissist myself. I've always been very attached to her and her and my dad are the only family I have. But my dad is a co-dependent of her. They control my every move and when I was away at college this past year, I realized how bad it is. I can't not succomb to it because my mom yells so much that I'll end up thinking it's my fault. They have extreme control over me. I'll probably go through PTSD if I just leave and break off all contact. I don't know what to do. If I just take money

   07/10/09

   Reply from Alyx:

   Dear Alinag,
   Please believe me I know exactly what you are going through, almost sounds exactly like what I went through and in some ways still going through except my co-dependent N dad has passed these 10 years and had to deal with N-mom and since she is older now getting more demented and is driving me crazy over her crazy dramas. She has actually made me ill this week. For you at least you got a college education. My parent never insisted on it. I went to jr college and then started working where he worked..see they had that planned too...they shit on my dreams of being an artist. Make sure whatever you do you have the best college education and job you can get in the outside world....believe they will not be there for you. You need to establish your own sense of worth and being. If you can become financially seperate from them the rest of your life,..take it and get away as far as you can from them, and become a successful being. No not fall into the trap of becoming an N yourself..remember those are learned traits and if you can catch it yourself...stop yourself and say this is not what normal people do and prevent yourself from doing it. Remember make yourself finacially stable, this is one of their hooks to keep you, not letting you become financially stable and dependent on them, like mine did. I hope this has helped somewhat. There is not much help out there and when you try to describe this mental disease of our parents to someone they think we are the crazy ones, just like all the websites and others have previously mentioned so you need to be smart. Document what they do to you!!!!! Tape record her rantings!!!! Please keep in touch.

3. 

   alinag

   102 Kudos

   07/02/09

   hey alyx, thank you so much for replying to my post. I feel like they are getting very controlling. It's so draining. My mom succumbed to my dad and I feel like she's so paranoid all the time. I fear them so much. However, I definitely don't have the money to just get out. I just don't want to become crazy from them. I became pretty paranoid today that I went to a hospital to get myself evaluated. I didn't want to go to a shelter. Is there anything I can do?
   

   07/07/09

   Reply from Alyx:

   Dear Alinag, Sorry for getting back to you so late. I feel deeply for what you are going through, due to there is hardly anyone out there that acknowledges this deep problem we share. I am sorry you don't have the funds to get out. I know full well about that. Is there a friend or any relative you can stay with? Is there any places for troubled youth. Some kind of counselor in your area? I myself am going through hell with my aging N. She is becoming more and more of a nightmare. I need to find to find help myself. It's tough. I don't know if there is a free clinic in your area that has pscychologists, that you can talk to, but I myself have done that eons ago with no help. They all want to make it you that has the problem. Hope this helps a bit to have a friend who knows in your corner. Please write back soon. I am having internet problems today it is so slow to get this written. It may be this website that is slow. Alyx

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